All the Smart Ladies!

There are two types of women when it comes to relationships.  The Smart Ones and the Overacheivers.  What makes the smart ones smart is the fact they do not show all of their cards at once.  They realize that if you carry your own suitcase up the stairs, you will ALWAYS carry your own suitcase up the stairs so they know to ask their "honey" to carry it for them.  This is true too in a variety of situations.  If they show them they can cook, they will be cooking every night so Ragu spagetti is their "gourmet" meal.  If they show them they can clean, they will clean every toilet for the rest of your life so they clean the bathroom with Tide. The smart ones now, they just dont do it from the beginning.  It might come across as odd to the male species that their love missed out on the "Domestic Diva" gene but they will fall passionately in love anyways and accept the fact that they will be paying for a maid until death do them part.  And the good news is, they will stay madly in love because the women doesnt look 70 when she turns 50 because she busted her ass off taking care of everything her whole life.  No, she will look fabulous at all ages. 

Now for the Over-Acheivers.  Bless their stupid little hearts.  They think that by doing their matronly duties that they are providing a comfortable, clean nest for their family.  Silly thing is, the Over-Achiever  doesnt realize they she cant keep up with everything.  No, not in this day and age when they are still expected to work.  The constant stress, guilt, and extreme exhaustion they feel is all because they thought it was neat that compared to everyone else their age, they actually know how to do these "Domestic Diva" things.  They let on too quickly!!!  Each day's to do list is tommorrow's wrap up punch list.  So while all of her Smart friends feel great, have time to work out, and are happy, Over-Achiever is home straightening up for the fourth time that day with a back brace and chipped nails.

So Rule of Thumb: The women that look fabulous, are fit and healthy, and dont ache all over are the Smart Ones, they realized that people have maids for a reason.  The Over-Achievers, well, they are still working on a way to back out. 

Ice Cold Cold-Calling

Does anyone else think the concept of cold-calling in today's corporate world is ridiculous?  The fakeness is quite hilarious.  I truly believe the only reason it eventually works is because if you cold call enough times (7-8 is the lucky number, right?) you have actually built a relationship with the person.  Relationships are what sells work.  Cold calling just builds the relationship on annoyance or brown-nosing if you are the type who brings donuts every time.  Maybe we should rethink our strategy and instead of pounding the pavement and worrying about how many, how fast, we should think about how genuine and sincere. The soul-less business men in their department store suits, wasting their life away by worrying about probabilities of getting work is so sad.  Work at something you enjoy.  You have one life, don't waste a single day.  This is what this American Lady REALLY thinks!

Note to Self

For some reason, I feel like becoming a mom has made my brain function decline by 50%, at least.  Note to self:  In your joy and excitement of having your baby cut new teeth, do remember that while you insert your finger to feel for the upper teeth, there are two existing beaver teeth on the bottom ready to clamp down at the very first second your finger is in her mouth.  First thing I thought to myself, "I am a complete idiot".   Its the small things you learn along the way.

Best Watergate Salad, Ever!

Sometimes I miss just good ole church food.  You know, the kind of food your mamma used to make on Sunday afternoons.  Derek and I eat a lot of ethnic food from Asian, Italian, Mexican, and your classic American but not really Southern.  So, I had a hankering for some church food so I made Watergate Salad for one thing.  Hands down, the best Ive ever made.  Too small things I did, I used the rainbow colored fruit flavored mini marshmellows instead of the plain ones and I added maraschino cherries!! YUM!!!  Try that with some pecans as the nut and it is slap yo mamma good!

Elegance

Create your own elegance in life.  Society will not provide it for you.

Sweet Justice

Oh yea, Im going to say it.  Not all babies are cute.  In fact, some babies, bless their hearts, are just down right ugly!  You know you all have see one.  I know, most of you are thinking, "Oh my gosh, I cant believe she said that!"  But the truth is, I have always stated the obvious and am one of the few people that will actually say it out loud. Asian and African American babies always manage to be so stinkin cute no matter what though.  But the Sweet Justice of it all is, when you have a mom in your kid's daycare class who looks down her nose at you because your outfit didnt come from SAKS and she is decked out to the nines, but her kid is one of the most unattractive kids I have ever seen!!!  My outfit may have come from Target but at least people dont have to hesitate to say something nice about my kid! Just goes to show you we should all be nice and not judge others but what you think their financial state is!!  It also should teach us not to cut some Willy Wonka bangs on a two year old! That is what this American Lady REALLY thinks!

It's Complicated

Ever since I  had Ava, I have been on a mental mission to recreate for her, the type of childhood I had.  But really, I think I was subconsciously trying to uncomplicate my life and use the peaceful memories to comfort myself through the hormonal and emotional changes over the last year.  I have thought more about my past than any year prior in my life.  I think of sleeping at night with the windows open and the summer breeze coming in and making everything smell good. I think of Saturday's where my family would stay home and work in the yard or do things around the house. I think of dinner being served before the sun went down and we all sat at the table. I think of playing with rocks, twigs, flowers, and even wild onions.  Those things have shaped me as a person and played a major role into why I love landscaping so much.  But the great thing about it all was it was soooo UNcomplicated.  It was my Norman Rockwell circa 1985. Now it is a treat to not have to go anywhere, to not have anything to do.  Is it because I am an adult now, or do things really seem so much more complicated than it was 29 years ago?  Our society is obsessed with making money and buying more/better things.  I agree that ambition is good and moving up is good but is it worth working tirelessly and missing weekends where you could be chasing lightening bugs to go to this practice, or do this work so you are not so bombarded on Monday?  Also, how much STUFF do we really need?  I bet we could all fit what we really need into a 1200 sf house.  More things = more things to take care of or have to be replaced when broken.  Im starting to see that Less is More is a great mantra.  I went out and bought the CUTEST pink and brown cupcake ceramic ware for Ava's birthday party.  Loved it!  Got it home and thought, where the hell am I going to store this??  So, I took it back.  I know it would chip and  I would have to shove it somewhere just to keep it and it really would cause more headache than anything else.  But it matched her theme!!  Maybe I should have been tending to my garden, prepping it for spring and getting a dose of Vitamin D and fresh air instead of wandering around Kohls because I had a coupon.  This is what this American Lady REALLY thinks!