I am a Liar

I hate lying.  I really do.  Today I was approached in the Walmart parking lot by a large, older, black man.  The first words out of his mouth were "Excuse me Ms".  Already, I felt more open to what he had to say because he had the decency to call me "Ms."  He then proceeded to tell me that he was not a begger or a pan handler but that if I had happened to overhear his conversation as he was walking my way, he was currently on unemployment.  However, he did not fill his form out correctly to get his check this week and now his check can not be processed until Monday.  On top of that, he only had three checks left for unemployment.  He then asked if there was any money I could spare to help him buy groceries to get through the weekend.  I immediately went on the defense and gave my generic answer of I dont have any cash although I knew I had a little bit.  I immediately felt bad for him and I felt even worse for lying because I have seen what the stress of unemployment can do to people.  Then I was mad I was even put in that position!  He didnt seem rude.  I was slightly annoyed by the fact that I was in the process of extracting sleeping Ava from the car and figuring out how to get her into the buggy without waking her up. Not to mention that when the car stops, I have a small window in which to work before Ava wakes up.  But why did I lie to him?  I am trained as a white female, and especially now as a mother to get out of those situations as quickly as possible because you read so many emails of Lord knows what happening and you don't want to become one of them.  I still feel bad for him though.  How can we still have people who need the basics to survive such as food?  Are people so caught up in themselves that they cant take time to volunteer or donate to those less fortunate than us?  I then saw him as I was loading up the car and he was crossing the street to the gas station.  If he were still in the parking lot, I would have without a doubt given him some of the food I purchased.  Help doesnt just come from friends and family.  It comes from a society of human beings helping each other through life.  Maybe next time Ill take the extra effort to help someone.  After all, countless doors have been opened, and other acts of kindness have been bestowed upon me since I had a baby.  Maybe now is my turn to repay the favor.  This is what this American lady REALLY thinks!